(MFKN) Tips: How To Throw Your Undergarments Onstage (And NOT Hit Me In The Head With It)

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As many times as I’ve photographed bands, there’s always that ONE girl who tosses her bra or underwear. One particular incident happened during Aftershock I was hit in the back of the head with a bra. As I stared at it, I was grossed out and wondered if it was used. Photographers in the pit have ONE focus, the stage. We only have three songs to get the shot and we don’t have time to dodge your drawls. SO! I’ve decided to write up a “How-To” guide on throwing your underwear… PROPERLY, cause let’s face it… we all have someone we want to throw our panties at.

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1.  Find Or Buy SEXY Undergarments

I’m tired of seeing basic bitch looking panties being thrown around. If your goal is to sleep with whoever you threw them at, your best bet is to throw the naughtiest looking panties you have. If they had to choose between a plain blue thong, or a Victoria’s Secret lace panty… which one do you think they’d go for? The answer is both (hahaha!), but you’d get some points for throwing sexy panties.

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2. DO NOT WEAR IT!

This is self-explanatory. Do NOT throw used underwear. Do not be unforgivably disgusting.

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3. Spray It With Perfume

 Turn them into a panty sniffer and spray it with a perfume that enhances the gesture.

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4. Keep The Tag And Write Your Phone Number On It; Use A Fake Name

Again, if you want to try and get with the artist, it helps to give your contact information. However, I suggest that you give a fake name. It doesn’t really matter what it is, they won’t care or know the difference. *Bonus* put a wink face on it too… make it as obvious as possible.

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5. WAIT FOR PHOTOGRAPHERS TO LEAVE THE PIT BEFORE YOU THROW IT.

…..self-explanatory.

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6. Get Within Range

This is key. You need to get them ON stage (and NOT on my fucking head). I would suggest that you get to the front (they’ll probably see you throw it and determine if they’re down or not). Most likely you’ll know the perfect song to throw it to when it starts playing, so wind up and toss that thing!

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7. Good Luck! (And Remember To Enjoy The Show)

If you don’t get a text or a call, don’t feel bad. Most of the time artists get too fucked up to function after the show is over. And sometimes they lose the panties or bras that were thrown at them (I asked).

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If you actually end up doing this PLEASE send me the video! I would love it (hahaha!) You can contact me anytime! Let me know who YOU would throw your panties at if you could (haha!).

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